Entry #050726
A life in color is still black and white. Waking up later than I should've because the muscle memory of needing to get to work kicks in, like a hollow tree. Brushing my teeth and rushing to leave. I wear whatever I can grab first in my drawer and put it on. A standard tee-shirt with a picture of cats flying through space on a planet made of ramen and some jeans that have been worn in through every event that my previous jeans failed to meet. If it's chilly, that too would be just whatever happens to hit my eyesight first. I wouldn't say my outfits are runway material, but they are my survival outfits. Avoiding to not be exposed to a possible fine in public nudity and the cold winds of what looked like a warm sunny day from my window, that I definitely misjudged. Yet, if you don't spend the extra time to put yourself together to the societal standard you are made to feel like you don't take care of yourself. I don't do a 10 step facial routine in the morning nor do I do a morning pilates because realistically why would I subdue my time to the commercials of what life has to be. The more I doom scroll on the line work of being a content consumer, it's another job I have put myself into with no benefit but the fact of feeling not enough for myself. "Society" has been manipulated to be a term to push you into a box that is not even there to begin with. Recently upon my task of scrolling, A collection of 5 second videos, because of course they have to make sure that we are minimizing our attention span retention, laid upon my fingertips that all had to do with the bases of what one should or shouldn't be doing. In the 24 hours of a day, We sleep for 8 and work for 8. We only get 8 hours of our day to ourselves unless you want to relocate hours of sleep for creativity which then makes your next day feel like the walking dead, a virus probably soon to come upon us which would consume all of our 24 hours. Insane to only have 8 hours to ourselves, barely. You need to eat so there goes an hour, work out another hour, clean your area/home another hour. The daylight is gone by the time you can rest or focus on your craft similar to how a paycheck leaves on the train of bills before you see it...
{Sigh} [Close your eyes and insert a moment of serenity]
Not to be the biter of my own venom of telling you what to do, but don't feel like you have to follow the tail of whoever is on that screen. Congrats to those that have completed and enjoy their path of falling into line of the template of commercial life. BUT ALSO, Congrats to those that have made it through their own day and give yourself one treat, you deserve it ;) . Get off that consumer line and join the congo line of individuality. Reality tends to be more fun when you live in your own.
Shine Bright Among the Sparks,
nxsparx